Boyfriend-University by Alan Robarge

This is a very insightful homepage http://www.boyfriend-university.com

Did you take Boyfriend 101 in college?
If you are like most of us, your answer is no.
Why is it we plan more for our education or
career goals than relationships? Maybe you assume that once in a relationship you'll know naturally what to do.
Good luck with that approach!

Here's a familiar story: Boy meets boy. Boys fall in love. Boys freak
out, fear intimacy, and sabotage their future together. Eventually, boy
dumps boy. Tragic! Ask yourself, why do gay relationships fail?

Everyone needs encouragement and support. Most of us growing up
weren't encouraged to love other boys. We didn't have mentors. We
didn't have role models. We certainly didn't have the culture behind
us, welcoming our homosexuality. When you grow up with straight
parents, learning by example is not an option.

So how then do we create and sustain long-term, committed gay
relationships without feeling isolated? How do we recognize differences
between healthy and unhealthy relating? How do we love and be loved?

Boyfriend University is an education-collective and online
community, offering web classes, relationship resources, and
individual consultations to men seeking better relating skills. Boyfriend
University invites gay men to self-assess how they maintain intimacy.
Our goal is to bring relationship-minded men together, sparking
depth-filled conversations and soulful connections.

Oh yeah, we offer some cool t-shirts too!

A Timely Quote

"In times of change, the learners will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves beautifully equipped to live in a world which no longer exists"

— by Eric Hoffer

Celebrating Gay Sensibility

A few years ago I took Alan's workshop. It was highly beneficial in my own journey and awareness. I do highly recommend the workshop. Please visit Alan's website below to get more information.

Being gay encompasses more than sexual identity; it is a sensibility, complete with its own wisdom, creativity, intuition, history, ancestors, humor, spirituality, and expressions of manhood. Gay Sensibility has its own way of seeing and listening to the world. It is responsible for countless contributions to the betterment of civilization. Gay Sensibility is an energetic expression of soul – the batteries for the gay man’s heart-light.

When we affirm Gay Sensibility we claim our good fortunes as men who love men, as spiritual visionaries, as gatekeepers to cultures, and as messengersof beauty. Gay Sensibility permits and welcomes pluralized assertions of masculinity and homosexuality, namely, "masculinities" and "homosexualities."

Affirming Gay Sensibility encourages and nourishes our hearts' potentials while healing the many hurts inflicted by shame and rejection. Living in the brilliant truth of Gay Sensibility is our noble quest and inheritance. Gay Sensibility exceeds self-acceptance and feeling proud; it assumes celebration!

Alan Robarge, MA
Psychotherapist
RELATE COUNSELING
www.alanrobarge.com

"Together" Drawing

The drawing "Together" of the men connect by the tie. To show that love, strong upstanding real love exists between any couple who love each other in any combination (GLBT) that is right for them with out shame. To stand together as a whole couple in a free world. And to remind who ever buys it that their love is whole and very much validated and wonderful in the eyes of others in society.

A week without a cell phone...

...I found it today...

Tuesday morning came to realize that I could not find my cell phone. Where the hell is it? Check all the usual places... crap where the hell is it? Did I leave it in the car? Shit I need to go to my appointment. I will get along without it.

Get back to the studio. Look under everything... Begin to clean... Begin to organize... Crap where the hell is it? It will turn up... Get back to work... Finding the cell phone right now does not get my projects done... clients need concepts emailed...

Wednesday... fuck what did I do with it... Back track... Last time I know I had it...? Sunday... Went to the art store... Went to Wahoo's Fish Tacos... I was talking to Mermaid on it while I was there so it is not at Meiningers. It has to be in my house... call it again... it goes directly to voice mail... It's off thank God... It has to me in my house?

Thursday... Don't worry about it it will turn up... Go to a client meeting... She suggest to pray to St. Anthony the Saint for lost things. Great, I say to myself "pray to St. Anthony? I'm not Catholic. I'm Protestant." So on the way home I pray to St. Anthony. Get back to the studio... still no cell phone. Great? Oh well I will find it.

Friday... empty out the laundry... no cell phone... look under the bed, under the couch, under the bureau, under the armoir...AGAIN. Jasper make yourself useful... find our cell phone. Mermaid calls... "I lost my cell phone." When? "I lost it on Sunday..." She reminded me that I was talking to her in the car on the way home from Wahoo's. It is here in the house.

Saturday... going out... really need the cell phone... How can I keep in contact with friends without it? I did just fine without it... It was nice actually not having it when I was out.

Sunday... totally given up hope. I will call on Monday to report it missing... 4:30pm it is so nice out. Jasper lets go for a walk. Get my walking cloths on... have to look good while walking jasper. Don't want to look like a slob from the suburbs. Get Jasper's leash. Oh, should take the recycling down while I am thinking of it. Crap can't balance all this stuff at one time...

...set Jasper's leash on the barbecue grill next to the cell phone. On the barbecue grill? All this time on the barbecue grill out on the patio. No wonder I could not find it. The grill is black the phone is black. Why the hell did I set it there? Thank God it was amazing weather all week. It was nice and dry.

Now it is on the charger... getting ready for Monday.

The thing is that I was not upset about loosing it... it was the process of replacing it... that is what I was dreading. Another pain in the ass avoided.

Thank you baby Jesus.

Canada and New England State Cruise

Hi Bloggers,

Well some of you may know that I returned from a real vacation. One that I have not had since I went into business for myself when I started Dean Allan Design on October 29th 2005. Wow so my 3 year anniversary is almost here.

I went with my parents aboard the “Crown Princess” on a New England coast cruise. We started in NYC... one day at sea... Monday at Halifax Nova Scotia... Tuesday in St. John’s Canada... Wednesday we were scheduled to go to Bar Harbor Maine and the fog was so thick that the captain of the would not let us tender to shore. It was the thickest fog I had ever seen. Thursday at Boston... Friday... Newport, Rhode Island.

New York City and Halifax Nova Scotia were my favorite cities we visited. In St. John's I went on a kayak trip and had a lobster cookout on the beach after words. I loved the big city of NYC and the extremely slow pace of Halifax.

The ship was fun it was 19 stories tall and had over 3200 passengers aboard and over 1200 crew members. It was so tall people asked the cruise director how high above sea level we were and he rolled his eyes and said. It depends what floor you are on.

He had a list of dumb passenger questions he had been asked like...
— Is this island completely surrounded by water?
— Do these stairs go up or down?
— How high above sea level are we?
— Does this elevator take us to the front of the ship?
— In the photo gallery of the passengers... “How do we know which photos are ours?”
— Where is the ships basement?
— Has this ship ever sunk?

I told some of these to my brother and he said he was asked last week at Boulder Toyota by a customer who brought in his car for service because when he took his foot off the break the car begins to move and thought it was a defect. To much “PWT” out there. Yikes.

Well... I want to go to NYC again and spend a lot more time there. One Friday night is not enough time.

TTFN for now.

Dean Allan Design Blog Start Date 09/25/07

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